What Lies Within

Damn! Bad choices! Bad bad choices! Screw this! Right now, all’s f&;”ked up!  Everthing’s just not the way I want it to be. Life’s sometimes so hard to understand. I may look like I’m always having fun, always got that same smile, yet I’ve got to plea!!! What to do…what to do??? I’m just trying so hard to be strong and calm. Trying so hard to deal with it, move on and let it go. Somehow, in some way, I have to concede, I’ve fallen and I’ve fallen deep. Now it’s striking back so hard and I have to be serene, quiet and just take it slowly one at a time. I’m really hurting bad inside. All I can do is heal myself, don’t look back and I’ve got to have the impudence to break in reality…but how do I do this? I’m the one going thru this and I’m the only one who can help myself out. Again, how? Weakness running thru me, It’s pretty alarming! I can feel me shaking, seriously! I’m so crushed, ripped and overly rejected. My mind’s sore! I’m nervous and I just don’t know what to do with facing it.

I think I gotta find me something to do. Something that would help divert my disturbed sanity to reason out soundly. I’m glad I have her around me, she fills me up, she gives me enough strength and enough reason to live. Without her, I don’t know how I can keep up with all these. I wish that ‘one day’ will soon come…I really hope so.